are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
