i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I enjoy the company of your penis
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
