Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
