my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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