Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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