Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
