We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
