The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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