forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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