I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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