Can Purell be used as lube?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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