haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
