Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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