my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
