my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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