just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
