So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
