Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
