and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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