Me. At least after what I've been through.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
