Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
