What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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