Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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