super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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