question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
