i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
as a side note pls kill me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
