we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
