I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
