I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
