And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
