pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
