you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
