yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
