she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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