just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
