Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
