It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
