But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
