did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
