His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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