i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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