brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I want a musical about memes.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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