ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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