i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
