she kept yelling 'call me bella'
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
