My underwear smells like fireworks.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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