this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
