We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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