i think my mom watched the whole time
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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