Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
