he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
